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A Marginal Sea

by Strange Her

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1.
You bleed for currencies and everything at once You buy your news and prostitutes at night And it always seems like magazines write anything they can find There's so many hands to feed for headlines to spin it right All the golden suites and properties the world has sacrificed Can't cure the disease that profit margins hide The modern world can offer more than some fair market price So if the check is cleared then you did something right Be careful of the policies in place The commonwealth is always subject to change You can be anything you want to be when it's time to choose If you agree to the terms in the clauses that they use Their compassion's a knife in the quarterly lines-with no regrets to cut you loose They’re hiding their stacks so they stay in the black-where there's nothing left to prove In gatherings of public kings we let our destinies play out They say "take what you need" and the numbers tell us how Cause we see ourselves as market shares and stare at our bottom line We're sold on the floor, but there's so much more to life And staying here is nothing short of a crime Would you rather believe that everything is fine?
2.
You swore that you'd leave, and the world would lay at your feet Like it was hanging in your reach The books that you read, and the movies you watched in bed Convinced you there was nowhere else And the city was the perfect fit, as if God himself had always had it planned Waited for years to get you in There was never a crown to claim And the people never mentioned your name when they spoke No one replaced any monuments And in your silence was the instant regret Of leaving the ones that you love And trading them in for a life that wasn't ever enough There's no love outside your window in the street Just an empire moving with time and machines in the dust And Everyone is on display, day and night are all the same But it's not the traffic or the lights that keeping you awake You feel like the restless ghost Of the North Atlantic coast, out on your own Even though you still exist It's not the same way that you did, when you had a home There was never a crown to claim Now your family only mentions your name as a joke It's a matter of consequence That's what you get when you walk out on your friends For the sake of being someone your not You killed for the cause but no one even cares that you're gone
3.
Entropy 03:22
Tonight, I'm taking this somewhere I can hide preparing myself to cross a line Assuming the alcohol I want Reacts the same way in my blood While I stare at the blinking tv fuzz I see my reflection, in the glow Like some holy reminder to take it slow But I'm feeling the pressures of getting old And I'm worried I'll do it all alone It was never meant to last Like the sun was waiting to collapse Into a masquerade of black No longer fighting entropy Our bodies hopelessly at peace To search the dark for clarity Now my failures that held me have let me go And set me with strangers in a shrinking hole But The force of gravity has taken hold And it's pulling stronger in other directions than below Another Summer's come and gone, And the landscapes changing colors I don't regret the call, though we never said we missed each other When did the love in us, become the same as drowning I've strayed but I'm not lost, I still want someone to find me You were the bandage to all the cracks bleeding through my heart That I couldn't close I was the devil seeing how much I could control, without telling a lie We had our separate fears And for Several years I've tried just let you know, just to let you know
4.
Fooled the crowds with simple tricks Burned the forest down when you slipped So let's Take it back before the turn To the hospital rooms where you worked And the closets they kept locked away With enough supplies to feed a blaze You’d just take a few and then you'd quit Until the smoke began settling in Your immune to the carbon And glowing with embers don't waste your breath, everyone knows about the fires that you lit You can't help yourself… when your alone, you lose control, and burn ‘till nothing's left The bottles began to pile up Into mountain range you couldn't cross And when the river slowly turned to dust We were strangers there, you couldn't trust So you gave us the slip, and drifted further ‘till you died out into the fog But it wasn't long before we saw the wreckage from the flames you couldn't stop
5.
Did I put myself into a lake of fire? Or is there a special place for those who don't think it matters? Cause in the midst of admonishment I didn't have a problem Enjoying the miracle wine and turning it back to water I've vandalized your prophet's writing on my shoulders So I could wear the same mistakes that plagued our fathers My claims reflected the change that I didn't love my brothers I traded men the promise land in exchange for their daughters Built a wall to prove my heart was mine to keep Buried outside are the stories I thought I believed When you formed these bones from clay You should've left them there in the ground Did you know they'd level this place And be the salt in your wounds While they're turning to ash in your mouth? This feeling that's deep in my chest And Forming a sweat on my brow Is it the guilt of making you sick? Cause I'm the one you regret And There's no cure if you don't spit me out I never sold out anyone I loved for silver But now my loyalties seem like they're unstable It's not like I'd deny my friends if they got into trouble I just don't like hearing my name come up in conversations I'm a ship that saw the lighthouse and turned back out to sea. All the colors of the world have bled out over me I don't wanna escape my prison, if it means that I go free Can you tell me if there's an end to this disease
6.
Like siphoning gasoline I’ll take anything of yours I need You don’t seem to have a need to drive much any more One day I swear I’m gonna soundproof all these walls Maybe that’ll finally drowned out your calls Then watch as you silently scream at the door (if I die this blood is yours) I’ll search the streets, look in every home If I find you asleep, before the sun goes down There’s a wooden stake that’s got your name And I wear it around my neck Like a Sunday morning cross It reminds me why I'm here, and they’re not You’re the shadow looming over my house every evening But it’s the past that haunts the walls of this broken home And even though you’re part of the nightmare I’m repeating There’s a part of me that’ll miss it when you’re gone You’re already gone There’s a claustrophobic sense I get But it’s not the size of the room Or the whispers in my head It’s the never ending loop of falling in and out of sleep With drinks designed to dull Another jagged edge of my sobriety I’ll search the streets, look in every home If I find you asleep, before the sun goes down Could I do what I know must be done And drag your body out into the sun What nerve you have to call my name Night after night you’re all the same You can talk but your just as dead to me May the mercy of my actions give you peace
7.
We were young taking western drugs in metaphors and faith On my wrist where the oils split was a blessing meant for change They spoke about all the worldly crowds and the water in their veins And the marks they missed were catalysts for the hell that must be paid So they gathered ‘round to bleed this out and purge the ones who run Cause the shape they're in is reflected with a behavior you can't trust When it's time to tear this place apart And burn the gardens of my heart I’ll need someone that I can trust Cause the scarlet cord that bears my name Is hanging out this window frame And I’ve got nowhere else to run So we bowed our heads and prepared ourselves for another day ahead Just hoping that we could stay the course every time we left our beds We drove the roads comatose building the campaign Like summoned ghosts you barely know with a message to explain Behind our doors our souls were poor from the knowledge we were taught The ditch at the end that we all fell in was as far we ever got I'll pretend to remain innocent
8.
Silent in thought, while skeletons are running down the halls of this nervous heart Your conscience is a friend, that grabs your hand and puts you back to bed when you've gone too far But there's an empty space within like suddenly you lost sight of land in the middle of the storm Could you help me understand, could you carefully explain how this ends, or at least where to start If only we could live, without fearing the edge of our escape is slipping through our hands But repeating in my head are questions without answers, give me one I won't forget I believe there's something here alive Hidden behind these doors Cause I've been hearing lies, spoken in ways that I’ve disguised as my own voice Like the story of my life is a picture that's painted on the wall In only shades of grey and white I've held my breath so long, that no more air can fill up my lungs Cause we planned to build this up, and while you hung on, I fell off Into an ocean of my mistakes Where I struggled to fight against the consequence of choices that I made
9.
I drink, but only modestly, until I puke my guts out Empty promises are all I keep, they never let me sleep until I pass out Don’t wait up for me, it’s not your job, it’s not your job I’m in control here; I'm who decides when this stops I volunteer as the example, used to scare kids out of hell spread my name like a cancer, It'll mean more as a cautionary tale Don’t wait up for me, it’s not your job, it’s not your job I’m in control here and I'm who decides when this stops And I'm never gonna stop myself I’m not in control, and I never was I'll destroy us both before I ask your help I’m nothing if not proud of the damage I’ve dealt As a devil’s advocate, I’ve come to know my place Proving counter points and doing everything in spite Still smoking cigarettes, even though I’ve lost the taste Killing myself slowly on the back porch every night This can’t be for nothing, it’s all we have It’s all we want, this is what I want What a shame that desire doesn’t translate to will I hold the secret to fire but lack the courage to kill And I'm never gonna stop myself I’m not in control, and I never was I'll destroy us both before I ask your help I’m nothing if not proud of the damage I’ve dealt With nothing left to hold on to We all wanted to believe we’re breaking through Instead of hearing words that would cut me loose Depart from me the son I never knew How does it feel to save someone, and watch them jump back in? Does the spit in your face sting worse than the curse in your ears ring? Don’t hold back from me your wrath is everything
10.
Atychiphobia 03:45
Bring another dead man to life See how long he stays here alive Read about his efforts to thrive all alone In his work Where all the chemistry's reversed Till it's right I'm looking for the place where he awoke Tell me how to get there when you know I hope that I’m accepted Cause I've been on my way for a while As rural America's bastard child On the run I've been working under pressure to create The same amount progress that he made But I got nothing here to show for my attempts at a change like before When I could control who walked in and out my doors I've seen the pit for all of those who chose to leave, thought it all was make believe, they were asked to pray but quickly fell asleep While others found some grace and placed it on their heads They were born to make amends They knew to pass away meant "getting in" Will I have the proper answers to explain Cause I feel i'm getting closer to the gate I've been waiting for this moment, But no one knows i'm afraid Of the cost, and what it will take from me as I make my way across I'm growing tired in my steps And walking further towards the end But I just want out There was a time when I refused the air to breathe I could pull apart the sea I could show you all the treasure underneath For an exchange I rendered all of this for less For the hope that I would wreck To get one last chance to die and resurrect
11.
Tides 05:03
I never took things past where I relate Only stepped inside the waterline just to wade The sense is that I can drift away Wish I could see the other side from the bank Then the world crashed into me without a sound Took out my knees and steadily held me down And I learned how it felt to be afraid It's hard to find some frame of mind between the waves Our hands are holding stones, while the moon is moving tides They're rising slow, covering our eyes We lose control, as the currents take their time In the dark below, until there's nothing left behind And there's a animal inside ourselves we have to tame constantly we feed it things we can't explain It all leads to nothing and then we're gone So in spite of fear, there's lessons here we need to learn I won't stop believing The sun won't set ‘til I'm done Tell them now, I'm leaving These waves weren't made to break us
12.
I found myself in disbelief We live our lives expecting to survive Mistakes we make between The risks we take and change we need Oh we lived it up beneath the lights Joking about some other night When we stayed up on empty streets But there's no more time for laughs cause you fell asleep I looked over the edge today, Where we push ourselves ‘till our bodies break And wondered when my time would come Cause I feel a part of me is already gone My soul is incomplete Your heart has lost its rhythmic beat Thought I'd never live without my friends with me But you couldn't catch your breath and you fell asleep We spent so much time Singing songs we didn't write And hanging out in parking lots for too long When you moved a ways out of town I didn't know the clock was ticking down I wish that I would’ve seen you around once more I don't know if I have the words To express the ways your absence hurts But soon enough, the day will come When all our work on earth is done So when you awake again on the other side And find yourself somewhere else Apart from us in eternal dreams Oh I hope that you found rest when you fell asleep

credits

released August 9, 2019

Produced, mixed, and engineered by James Paul Wisner
Mastered by Andy VanDette
Artwork by Duane Knight
Graphic Design by Joshua Johnson
Music by Strange Her

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Strange Her Fairhope, Alabama

With a live performance as energetic as the 80s DC punk scene, and music leaping off the hairy edge of the Emo/Alt Rock Revival, the coastal Alabama based Strange Her lands uniquely on the heavier end of the indie rock landscape of today, picking up the torch from groups like Taking Back Sunday and Brand New, and carrying it into a new age of the genre. ... more

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